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Here’s why a reliance on porn is damaging us
Why Men Are Turning to Porn as a Mental Health Coping Strategy. As a new lockdown begins, many of us are entering another lonely period in what has surely been one of the loneliest years on record. While male loneliness is nothing new &ndash, published in 2017, the Jo Cox Commission found that eight million men feel lonely every week &ndash, 2020 seems to have re-set the baseline on how we&rsquo,re all feeling.

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With coronavirus lockdowns heightening the problem and leading to a rise in suicidal thoughts, the government has even launched a &pound,750 million campaign titled #Let&rsquo,sTalkLonliness to get people to open up. But, for many men opening up remains a difficult task, especially so when we&rsquo,re cut off from our friends and colleagues. It&rsquo,s no surprise, then, that instead of dealing with our emotions, we search out distractions. Distractions like pornography. More and more of us are using porn as a way of escaping our real feelings and emotions. According to Fight the New Drug &ndash, an organisation that seeks to explore use of pornography by analysing scientific data and case studies &ndash, we&rsquo,re currently in a &ldquo,pornography epidemic&rdquo,, which is having a terrible effect on our emotional wellbeing. &ldquo,[Porn] offers consumers temporary relief from anxiety, depression, and loneliness in exchange for making these same problems much worse in the long-term,&rdquo, write the authors of an article titled How The Porn Industry Capitalizes On The Loneliness And Depression Of Its Consumers. Sound familiar? A Porn Epidemic. Unsurprisingly, porn usage has spiked during lockdown. Traffic to porn site PornHub sky-rocketed during March 2020 when it offered free premium membership to Italy, France and Spain, resulting in visitor jumps of 57%, 38% and 61% respectively. Writing for The New Drug on the spike in PornHub traffic, Tony Porter, CEO of website A Call to Men wrote, &ldquo,I&rsquo,m saddened &ndash, but not surprised &ndash, to hear that traffic to porn sites is spiking during this time of physical isolation. It means that not only are we more socially isolated than we were before, but far too many of us &ndash, especially men &ndash, are turning more than ever to dangerous content portraying and celebrating the objectification of women and normalizing violence against women and girls.&rdquo, Much has been written about pornography&rsquo,s derogatory effect. One study found 97% of physically aggressive acts in porn were directed towards women. Other studies have found that the more pornography a person uses, the more difficult it is for them to become aroused by a real sexual encounter, enforcing unrealistic expectations of your partner&rsquo,s and your own sexual performance. According to the New Drug, the sense of guilt or &lsquo,self-concealment&rsquo, which accompanies porn use can leave users feeling lonely, and more vulnerable to a range of psychological problems. “For both male and female porn consumers, their habit is often accompanied by problems with anxiety, body-image issues, poor self-image, relationship problems, insecurity, and depression,&rdquo, the authors write. Mark Butler is a mental health strategist and the clinical director of The Bay Retreats rehabilitation programme. He has written extensively about porn usage and argues that porn as a tool to encourage sexual arousal isn&rsquo,t a problem, the problem is that so few of us use it in that way. It is easy to get attached to your favourite actresses and forget about everything for a while. &ldquo,Porn in and of itself isn&rsquo,t necessarily damaging to our mental health,&rdquo, he says. &ldquo,But, if it is used (and 75% of it is) as a way to cope with boredom, loneliness or alleviate stress then as with any coping behaviour, it can become a problem. When it is used to excess and becomes a primary way of dealing with overwhelming anxiety or stress it begins to interfere in our normal day and that is a problem.&rdquo, In other words, more and more of us are using porn as a way of escaping our real feelings and emotions. Porn Can Lead to Loneliness. James (not his real name) is in his late twenties. He has a good job and close circle of friends but says he often turns to porn when he feels down. &ldquo,I&rsquo,ve been single for quite a while now,&rdquo, he says. &ldquo,I&rsquo,m often required to work long hours taking calls from clients in international markets, which means I don&rsquo,t have a lot of time for socialising or dating. Porn is easy to turn to because it&rsquo,s right there. I suppose it is easy to get attached to your favourite actresses and forget about everything for a while. But you do feel lonelier afterwards, and a bit stupid for getting lost in this fantasy world when in real life you don&rsquo,t have that special person to spend time with.&rdquo, James isn’t alone in suffering from a very real problem. Writing for the Institute for Family Studies, Butler outlines a study he and his colleagues carried out in which they found that as pornography use increases, loneliness also increases. And as loneliness increases so too does porn use. &ldquo,Our study suggests a close and painful partnership between pornography and loneliness for some users,&rdquo, Butler explains. He goes on to hypothesise why this might be so: &ldquo,Pornography triggers the sexual system, providing a physical &ldquo,feel-good&rdquo, experience overshadowing negative feelings&hellip, Pornography also expands the sexual system&rsquo,s escape through creating sexual anticipation, bringing a person &ldquo,under the influence&rdquo, of sexual arousal for as long as they care to be before acting out.&rdquo, Crucially, by engaging with porn, we&rsquo,re missing out on a key biological aspect of arousal, and by doing so are furthering our sense of loneliness. &ldquo,The sexual system is biologically and neurologically tied to a relationship experience,&rdquo, Butler explains. &ldquo,The human sexual system is carefully designed to support both conception and bonding. First, there&rsquo,s the physical pleasure of arousal, intercourse, and climax &ndash, the engine designed to ensure offspring. Then, after climax, partners experience the brain&rsquo,s &ldquo,love&rdquo, plan for pair bonding, when oxytocin is released, producing feelings of comfort, connection, and closeness.&rdquo, Butler explains that when porn is used to trigger the first aspect it does offer a temporary relief from feelings of loneliness, tricking the brain into thinking it is having a real relationship. Afterwards, realising we are actually alone, Butler believes we can feel a deeper loneliness than before. On another level pornography can be addictive because we yearn to be connected.

lonely women looking for men

lonely women seeking men

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